Friday, August 29, 2008

T.G.I.F

It's Friday again!
Yipeeee!
Needless to say, this is my favourite-est day of the week, as.... tmr is Saturday!
Even though, the days, weekdays or weekend no longer seem to be any different for me (I werk on weekends too... apa nk buat.... nk hidup...) and I no longer hang out on a Fri night, Sat or Sun, I still do look forward to it. It's not like I hate work (Ok sometimes I do!), bt I really don't like work. Maybe if I am doing something I love its a totally different thing. Or not. Cause I might just be a brat yg perasaan Tai-Tai. Feeling-feeling kaya tak payah kerje kecuali shopping jer! (Shopping shld be categorise as a job as it requires lot of hard work too!)

Bt since next week is the hols, albeit a short one, I am feeling excited! I always like the hols as there is lesser interruptions and that is the period that I can almost fully focus on doing things needed to be done and clear all my work. Ok, not ALL my work. Today we are celebrating Teachers' Day and tonight will be my second Teachers' Day Dinner. I will try to upload pics here. Bt it'll definitely be up on my Facebook and since I am so active in Multiply now, most probably in Multiply too. Friendster susah kit ah, malas nk buat keje-keje resize mesize nie....

Ryan is going home this Sunday - the one thing that I am NOT looking forward to. How do I re-change my lifestyle that I've become accustomed to - though it has only been less than a week? I know I said the same thing earlier on when I had to go back to work, bt at least I do get to see, hug, cuddle, sing to, irritate and clean his ass. I think I will actually miss cleaning his shit. Shit! Such a lil bugger and yet such a huge impact on all of our lives. According to Along, they will come and most probably stay over during the weekends bt I am not putting too much hope on that. B.Batok is quite a distance away from Tamps aft all. Though they have a car now, I dunno if they will be mobile. Haiz... the harsh truth of growing up. Thinking about missing Ryan's ngada-ngada cries is already making ME CRY!

But let's look on the bright side - I get my room back. I miss my room!!!! Now that I just bought a new fan (in a bid to do my part to save GAIA, I decided to get a brand new fan so I won't use the air-con), I feel more eager to spend some time in my room after a hard day's work. I can start reading again! And oogle the Victoria's Secret catalogue and circling my orders. I can do my calculations on my bed again till late at night! But most important of all, I get to sleep on my bed!I have not been sleeping well (except for the past 2 nights as I swopped sleeping position with Mum), as I tak kerasan langsung kat katil Ibu! According to Mum, it's true, the side a bit keras. No wonder I can't get to sleep and mimpi sumer merepek meraban (something which I dah lama sangat tk experience) and till I got my heart-attack tingy.

I think it's highly related you know. I got that symptons right after that night where I dreamt of zombies. After I took the meds and tried to go to sleep, when I ter-accidentally thought about the dream, my heart went crazy! That was when I realised that it might just be due to that. Oh ya, like a true connected manager - Vernon was posting about his recent attack too in his blog and he said that it is now categorised as panic attack. While reading, I thought I had the same experience and then realised I had a panic attack! Of course! Why am I so dumb? I had panic attacks before bt why didn't I realise it this time? I think I was being too busy focusing on whether it is a heart attack and if it was due to my steroid dosage. And then it makes even more sense that the attack is most probably due to that stupid dream.

I told my mum about this last night and she was like "alah... takkan pasal mimpi zombie sikit jer trus kena panic attack..." I bet she imagined me dreaming Awie in Zombie Kampung Pisang going "Otak....Otak..." That, I would love to dream. In fact, I'll join him. Bt no, that's not what it was at all. It's not so scary as in horror-scary. It's just that the situation is just so bad. And the dream was so real. The feelings I felt in the dream was draining every bit of me. Its the shocked of seeing people around you die one by one, its the fear of not knowing who to trust, where to go, where is safe, what is the next step, and its the fear of not being able to protect your loved ones and at the same time fear your loved ones. Its a chaos!

Bt thank god it's only a dream and I do want it to stay as a dream!

On a very lighter side, I just received an sms saying that he's coming to Singapore tmr and he wanna meet me at Novena. Exciting!! Can't wait for tmr! Bt I told him I got course tmr from 12-5 and he said he will call me to confirm the time.

Tmr will be another hectic day. I hope it'll be an exciting one though! Tmr, is the start of Change.

InsyaAllah....

Posted by DiStUrBeD AnGeL at 1:39 PM